“He sang as if it he knew me

In all my dark despair

And then he looked right through me

As if I wasn’t there

But he was there, this stranger

Singing clear and strong” Lori Lieberman ‘Killing Me Softly’

His ocean blue eyes sparkled in the sun, his features rugged… one couldn’t help but get a little lost in them.

“You know how to hold a stare” he smiled. “Hmmm.” I looked away. It was a hot sunny day and London was bustling happily along.

“So… I used to volunteer as a ChildLine worker. I wanted to give something back…because I had so much money…” he started.

“Oh that’s interesting” I said. Because it was… interesting. Seeing his green light he ventured into a variety of stories of how he’d helped many a young child. One story so upsetting… I had to actually hold a tear back.

“Oh God.. that’s so sad” I looked at him shocked.

“Yes then I had to meet the little girl… and I just hugged her and we cried”.

My mouth fell slightly agape. In the words of Lori Leiberman.. he was attempting to kill me softly with his song.

“Can I buy you a drink?” he asked. “Come inside away from the bedraggle for a minute”…

I looked at my friend happily chatting away. “Sure” I said. Inside we went.

“So.. I am actually married…” he stated staring.. intensely at me.

“Ok” I replied. Shifting my gaze to the other side of the room. Guessing where this tiresome chain of events was about to head.

He attempted to explain a stifled love affair. “But I’d never leave her” he stated with a wide eyed expression.

“But you would cheat?” I asked directly. Already knowing the answer.

“Yes. Without a doubt.”

His halo popped.

“Well I’d urge you to reconsider that decision.” I responded…slowly shutting down to his crap. And as I looked back at him… his blue eyes had turned a muddy grey…and his cunning charm showed itself as the devils tongue clinging at any opportunity to catch someone in a slick web of deceit.

“And I think we could be great…friends….!” he smiled attempting to use some magic.

But my cloak is thicker than that. “Yeah. Great.” I replied with enough gust to as not appear overtly sarcastic. Just enough to escape….


“Cunning grows in deceit at seeing itself discovered, and tries to deceive with truth itself.” Balthasar Gracian, The Art of Worldly Wisdom

Be good, BeckiBx



Pic on front Banksy

“Women know intuitively when they are being devalued.” Robyn Silverman

Article by Jessica Burgess

We all have dating nightmares… we’ve all been in that situation where you’re sitting opposite someone trying to desperately think what question to ask them next to avoid that prolonged silence which you can only seem to fill by taking another sip of your drink. We’ve all wished a date would end within 5 minutes of sitting down in some “cool” bar where the drinks are overpriced and you can’t even hear what mundane anecdote your date has just come out with over the music turned up too loud. In this instance though I can actually say that I went on a date which lasted less than 5 minutes…

So recently, I’ve been getting quite into Tinder. It’s an app I’ve had for a while but like most of the users on it was up until now only using it as a bit of window shopping. I decided a couple of months ago that it might actually be quite fun to go for a few drinks though- meet some new people- and if nothing else could at least have a story or two about Tinder to tell at parties.

I came across this guy who I thought seemed just my type- tall, blonde, athletic and seemed to be able to hold a conversation (or as much as you can on Tinder anyway). We agreed to meet after work and he said he’d let me know where but as the day went on said his “phone was playing up” and he couldn’t find a good place to go online… not overly concerned I said that was fine and we agreed to meet at the train station and then find a place from there.

I arrived at the station, feeling a little nervous but not overly so. I waited by the ticket barriers – I was a little early so was just playing on my phone, looking at commuters go by and wondering if any of them were rushing off on dates arranged by an electronic device. At 7.30 I get a call… it’s him… “I can’t find anywhere to park” – what? We’re in central London why are you in a car?! “I’ll swing by and pick you up” he says.. in my head I’m suddenly getting very awkward about the whole thing… I don’t know what to say… I say it’s fine I’ll just wait here till you find some parking- it’s no problem…

I hang up the phone and immediately ring a friend “is it weird he’s asked me to get in his car?” “yes – no normal person would think that’s OK.” she says…

I get a text- “I’m in Tesco carpark…” This is not how imagined a few after work drinks going…

All I want to do now is just get on a train home as this whole thing is just so uncomfortable but running away would be worse so I walk over to Tesco’s next door and see a blue car parked in a dark layby at the back…. Does he really think I’m going over there? I stand and look at the car for a long time and eventually he gets out and comes over. He’s not bad looking but his pictures have been flattering it seems. “Hi, sorry no parking- are you going to hop in and we can go find somewhere?” I don’t know whether he’s saying find a restaurant or implying something else but I’m not keen to find out…

“Sorry- I’m not getting in your car I’ve just met you- let’s re-arrange for another day” I hop on the first bus and never text him back… Doesn’t he know you should never get into cars with strange men?

Do you have a #datingdiary you’d like to share? Good or bad.. send them in to it can be an anonymous post or your name disclosed – it’s up to you! Why not…. #jointheconversation

… Stay #safe people…




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