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Love Is a Dirty Word.

Love.

Love is a dirty word.
It started out in childhood
And it got. All very confused. 

If it was ever said at all.
It was easily misconstrued.  
And was either half hearted or never really said in truth. 

And when she grew up.
And she was urged to trust.
It all just felt… far too much. 

As she tried to figure out
How love was meant to touch. 

Her heart. 

She finally figured that she was stuck 
The narcissists trap suffocating her in it’s clutch
Perverse amusement as darkness thundered 

A magnificent web of lies the master of deceit 
As he whispered in her ear 
A dirty pool licked at her feet 

Lost souls imprisoned attempting to escape
As water turned to quicksand and the clock jumped a beat 
The future already here, the narcissist long gone

A story planned out since time begun.
A contradictory perverse mind
Some souls sinking deeper as the narcissists song echoed on.

Her mind harmonised to a frequency she hung on
Trying to gather her energy up.
Listening to others that claimed to hold the key that would release the devils evil clutch.

The gate of freedom she was told was not far 
The bright yellow suns warmth holding her there… 

Love. 

Love was a dirty word. 
She’d always felt. 
But not anymore she understood as her heart started to melt. 

It was only then she could see.. 
That she was starting to break free…
From the narcissists clutch.

Becki Bx

© All words and images copyrighted and owned by Rebecca Burrows 2020 and not to be used without permission.






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Pandemonia got me feeling oh so peculiar.

Pandemonia got me feeling oh so peculiar.

CCTV is looking down at me. 

Sat down to tie a shoelace now being held down by the POlice. 

Isolated. Locked down pandemonia got me feeling oh so peculiar. 

Making face masks for the nhs out of plastic bags and super tens an underfunded institution let down by the constitution. 

Isolated. Locked down pandemonia got me feeling oh so peculiar.

Feeling oh so lonely download a few apps that are ‘free’ in search of intimacy

Tinder, badoo, Ten more men on the go.. stick a few filters on and pretend to be happy free and dressed up in lingerie

Isolated. Locked down pandemonia got me feeling oh so peculiar.

Spy on the the postman delivering a letter – did he just look back?! Human connection between wood – lift my hand up to touch his energy but he’s not looking back…

Isolated. Locked down pandemonia got me feeling oh so peculiar.

Social distancing getting me distressed as a jogger spits his sweat my way on his breath.. what the HELL was that my mind screams pulling off my dress

Almost naked I stand. Almost naked. I stand. Before the world.

Fearless and armed with dettol antibacterial wipes I hear people clap and chant…

#thankyouNHS. Another nurse passed. Another bus driver taken down. Taken unnecessarily down.

“Do you like to go bareback” a man messages from POF… “I’m all about protection’” I respond deleting his crude attack.

Isolated. Locked down pandemonia got me feeling oh so peculiar.

The birds circle my head. I cannot tell if I made them up. Have I passed out. Am I in heaven or hell? Nature glows as humans hide away. The old man that used to pant slowly inhales a breath.

Eyes smile as mouths hide behind a mask. The only human connection we have left.

#thankyouNHS

Loving this track right now.. dedicated to all those that have lost their lives. May you all rest in peace.
Stay safe and try to stay sane.. BeckiBXx #ohDearyme


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©Rebecca Burrows 2020

ohDearyme

Space Dust

I am not God. Apparently. 
Well. That’s what they say. 
But then. Who are ‘they’ anyway. 

It’s only me inside here. 
This body of mine. 
Wondering on how much time I have left to ‘play’. 

If I play my cards right. It could be plentiful. 
But should I remove myself from the pillar… 
…and perhaps use my dreams to help me consider. 
That there is. Another power. Greater than I. 

Look to the moon! The stars! The sky!
The space dust as it floats on by!

Gloriously.
Floats on by. 

Nature knocking humans to their knees. 
That’s what I want to see! 

‘Thou shalt not fritter! 
These gifts you’ve been given!’
The stormy sky screeches 
Nature sets the rules. A flash of thunder! 

I must remember 
Remember to listen. 
‘You are not God’ the Earth whispers. 
No. I’m not I remember. 
As I give in. To nature. 

Becki Burrows, August 2019

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Summers High Clouds

It rained all day
All fucking day
“Learn to dance in the storms” they say.
“Meditate, relax, reflect 
Life has it’s ups and downs”
“Life IS a storm” I say
One big fat ANGRY storm!
I turn my back
And face the wall.
Not today. Just not today. 
With your spot on quotes 
I take a breath. And sigh. 
Because yes. I know it’s good advice. 
But let me wallow a little longer. 
Let me taste the blissful pain 
of the rain as I wonder. 

Ok. I take a breath. 
I’ll learn to dance in the storm.
I say. 

But maybe. Maybe. Just not today. 

Becki Burrows, August 2019

(artist picture Christopher Cuseo)

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POEM: SEXUALLY TRANSMITTED

I am an STD, hidden beneath
Lurking in the unseen,
Shamed for being me
A virus permeating. If you catch me..

You’ll be dirty too, so stay away.
Don’t say I didn’t warn you.
About my negativity.

But it wasn’t my fault.
It was passed on to me.

I thought it was love.
Well that’s what he told me.

Sharing is caring.
That’s what he’d said to me.

Don’t you.. look at me with your judgmental eyes.

You see… you don’t see.

You don’t really see me.
You just see what you want to see.

Look deep, look down.
Oh yep! There’s the frown.
You look disappointed…
Don’t worry. You can’t be as disappointed as me.

The echo’s get louder.

‘You don’t love yourself’ says he.
‘That’s not true…’ says me.
‘You lied.
You took what you wanted.
You rolled the die.
You left me here.
Did you think I’d cry?’

He laughs. That laugh. Infectiously.

But this time.

I see.
It’s not too late.

‘Catch’ he throws…
‘No thanks’ I reply..

I walk away.

‘How ridiculous’.. I think.
Just then. I thought that STD was me.

Written by Becki Burrows

May 2018

©Copyright owned Rebecca Burrows 2007

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