This guy rocked up at the table me and a friend were sharing. He pulled up a seat and cheekily butted his head into the conversation my friend and I were having. He seemed like a nice enough fella so we took the amusement factor on board and involved him for five minutes. Asking for my number we stayed in touch for a few weeks via text message only. His initial contact being… ‘it’s so great to make new friends..’ ‘I’ll always be your friend’.. etc etc etc. Heavy usage on the ‘friend’ word there.
One day… I received a text..
“I am going to make love to you and you have no choice in the matter…haha bet that woke you up!”
He seemed a nice enough man so I assumed that basically he was just a bit thick.
“Erm…. isn’t that rape” I replied.
“Eh?” he replied. “No cos I am going to make love” he replied…(???)….“I was joking” he added. Weird kind of joke I thought.
Then a few hours later I received another text. “Let’s do lunch tomorrow!” he asked. I was unsure after his rapey message.
“Come on fanny fortress…it’s not like we’re about to get married” he pushed.
“Oh! I won’t bother then” I replied sarcastically. Adding.. “please don’t call me fanny fortress it’s disgusting…” to the end of the discussion.
“I was joking I am not going to censor myself round you” he replied.
And that was the end of that.
I’m not ignorant to the conversations men have with each other (online in forums or otherwise) and I expect he wanted a reaction from me that would be….more giggly?
But I didn’t trust this guy for the mind traps he was setting out.. ‘it’s nice to have a friend..’.. ie – if we ever ‘did’ anything he’d already laid his cards out on the table ‘I said I didn’t want more than that’ for example. But then followed it all up with texts containing words such as gorgeous, beautiful. i.e. – this guy was a bit of a player and I got the impression he was talking a lot of crap.
Also I think anyone should be able to ask assertively to not be called something which makes them feel uncomfortable.
Sometimes however, people don’t want to adhere to others boundaries or don’t like being pulled up on what they’ve said. But I get the feeling some guys just want to see how much they can get away with..