“At the end of the day… companies company Becki…” he says staring out the window.

I peer at him. Interesting. I think.

For the past few years, I’ve been living in a series of places that might constitute an appearance on the Jeremy Kyle show. My belief has been – keep yourself to yourself and get in and out as quickly as possible. That was doable. For a while. If one of the men hadn’t had his front door open at all times. He was aware of when one left the building and when one arrived. He was watching you and your every move. Living in a place like that my first rule of thumb… keep your neighbours sweet.

And so my movements started with a… keep looking down when leaving the building don’t say hi and don’t make eye contact.

But what to do when interaction becomes enforced. Your post, for instance starts being pushed under your door.

“I’m delivering your post for you Becki! Can’t trust no one here!” the man from downstairs shouts through the door.

I looked down at the post shoved under my front door.. I really wish he wouldn’t do that I find myself thinking.


Now everytime you leave your apartment and pass his (as it’s on the way down) he asks “did you get your post?”.

The conversation initiation that one might have been avoiding.

“Yes, yes thank you I did…” one replies. And he grins. Like he is your friend. And you are aware that you live in the same building. And making enemies. Well. That’s not a good start. Please leave my post where it is.. you don’t need to… gosh where is my assertiveness when I need it.

And this is the fear. Fear of being a woman living alone.

And so you’re not really sure if you like/trust him. But you don’t want him to dislike you. After all, he has taken his position looking after the building. And he is pulling you with an invisible cord to interact and what just what are you to do. And so you find yourself sitting on his sofa indulging in a cup of tea.

“Attempted murder Becki… that’s how I ended up in these parts”. Ok. He tells me his side of the story. Gosh. Sounds like nothing at all I can’t believe he nearly got done for that I found myself thinking as I listened to his chit chat. But I am aware of male charm. Self pity. And to keep boundaries safe. “So tell me about yourself.. what’s your story” he asks “Everyone has a story”.

I look up at the clock. “Is that the time?” I ask… moving towards the door and seeing a flicker of irritation on his face.

I think about my main focus in life: look at the light, live in the light and stay in the light.

I dash out the door with a cheery ‘thanks for the tea’.

My phone rings. I answer

“Hey! Wanna watch Twin Peaks tonight? Or Cabin in the Woods” my friend questions.

“How about a bit of Mary Poppins?” I reply.

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