It was five years ago that I moved to London. I moved into a hostel in Peckham.. there were three aussie girls upstairs, a Polish family in the front room and a drug fiend that frequented the place. It was lovely. When the day came to make a sharp exit…(like get me the hell out of here pleeease.. )..a friend from University that had also moved to London arrived in his beaten up car to help me out. His name was Guil. In those years of friendship he recommended that I teach English in Korea. And five years on as I sat in my love motel somewhere near Incheon airport, Korea – there was a knock on my door… guess who it was? It was indeed my old friend Guil… ‘you can’t stay here! It’s terrible! Why didn’t you get in touch earlier?!’ he demanded… I shook my head…
After an eventful six months in Korea I have decided to move on to pastures new. This time in Korea.. has indeed been eventful. For the first 4 months I was sick. I had pains in my stomach.. and I had no idea why. Was I dying? Was I the Virgin Mary? Was I dying!?! I was probably dying..
In Korea there is a separate doctor for each part of your body. Of course not being able to speak or read Korean… I ended up visiting many of these different doctors. I went to a bone doctor…. a gynecologist… an internal intestine doctor.. a baby doctor.. and each time.. in frustration.. the doctor would always give me a huge amount of drugs and an injection in my bum. Five injections I had in my bum… FIVE… never before in my life had I had an injection in my..
Anyway moving on.. It wasn’t until I visited the baby doctor.. that it all started to become apparent. After being sent to have an xray.. the doctor sat me down.. and.. started to laugh. The nurse.. then also.. started to laugh. I was obviously.. a bit bemused by this. Was I the Virgin Mary after all? What was so funny? Surely this isn’t very professional? What are they saying? Where am I? Who am I? Why is there baby stuff everywhere? What are they saying? Seeing my worried expression.. the doctor coughed.. turned to face me.. and shifted his computer round so that I could see it. He showed me the xray and said.. ‘a lot a lot of dong..’. I looked up at the nurse.. who again.. started to laugh.. Dong is the Korean word for er.. poo (should I write about this? Am I ruining your fairytale of women never going for number.. this is a little embarrassing actually..)
‘er.. a lot of dong?’ I replied… and yet again my doctor…unprofessionaly burst into fits of laughter and proceeded to show me the xray. Wow. It seemed from the xray that I was indeed… seriously full of shit. And I was very relieved at this.
And so..for the next five minutes the nurse.. the doctor and I sat there laughing together.. simply looking and repeating the one word ‘dong’ to one another… because that was the only word we all knew..
TO BE CONTINUED..