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I don’t want a lot for Xmas. There is just one thing I need. I don’t care about the presents, Underneath the Xmas tree.

Oh fuck right off Mariah. I mean like how many times has she been married anyway? Not that I’m here to judge. Hell – marry as many times as you want. But please let’s give the guys a break. Christmas is  a very stressful time for relationships… and apparently many break down because they are ‘under pressure’.

I mean we’ve all been there. Haven’t we? You’re at the point where your boyfriend asks you want you want for Xmas. You blush.. smile sweetly and say ‘oh nothing you dont have to get me anything..’…peering at him and secretly hoping he can read your mind.

I believe it’s good to (occasionally) have low expectations. But I’ve never understood those relationships where the girl shrugs her shoulders and says ‘oh that’s just the way he is..’ when she gets another present of ‘sweet fuck all’ on Xmas Day. Like a good friend I’m consistently trying to advise my male friends …steering them haphazardly through the dating process.. ‘she did that but she meant this.. she said no but she meant yes..’.

So here’s some advice: it really is all very simple. She does want a lot for Xmas. There is more than one thing she needs. She does care about the presents, And she’d prefer it if it was eco-friendly.

Cos we are living in a material world. And she… is a material girl. Unfortunately.

Don’t blame me blame:

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